专题06 读后续写速成：“五点爆破”法

这是一份专题06 读后续写速成：“五点爆破”法，共6页。

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tm, had driven three hurs t camp vernight by a lake in the frest. Unfrtunately, n the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started t quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was s angry that she said t Tm, “I’m ging t find a better spt fr us t camp” and walked away.
With n path t fllw, Jane just walked n fr quite a lng time. After she had climbed t a high place, she turned arund, hping t see the lake. T her surprise, she saw nthing but frest and, far beynd, a snwcapped muntain tp. She suddenly realized that she was lst.
“Tm!” she cried. “Help!”
N reply. If nly she had nt left her mbile phne in that bag with Tm. Jane kept mving, but the farther she walked, the mre cnfused she became. As night was beginning t fall, Jane was s tired that she had t stp fr the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much t be with Tm and her family. She wanted t hld him and tell him hw much she lved him.
Jane rse at the break f day, hungry and thirsty. She culd hear water trickling (滴落) smewhere at a distance. Quickly she fllwed the sund t a stream. T her great jy, she als saw sme berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling strnger nw, Jane began t walk alng the stream and hpe it wuld lead her t the lake.
As she picked her way carefully alng the stream, Jane heard a helicpter. Is that fr me? Unfrtunately, the trees made it impssible fr peple t see her frm abve. A few minutes later, anther helicpter flew verhead. Jane tk ff her yellw bluse, thinking that she shuld g t an pen area and flag them if they came back again.
But n mre helicpters came and it was dark. _________________________________
It was daybreak when Jane wke up. _________________________________________
Step1 落点：浏览所给信息,确定大意主题
Step2 重点：梳理已知段落,确定主要情节
step3突破点：借助段落开头,确定续写内容
Step4 亮点：刻画细节冲突,优美连表达
优美连贯表达
But n mre helicpters came and it was getting dark again.In the dreadful darkness,①____________________________________________________________________
(一切都像准备好发动攻击的野兽）[明喻+过去分词作定语]
②_______________________________(又累又怕）[双形容词作状语]，Jane was rted t spt,unable t utter a wrd.’’
③____________________________________________________
(如果我没有和汤姆吵架，我现在就不会被困在这里了）[虚拟语气]，”She thught f herself
④__________________________________________________(后悔的泪水模糊了她的眼睛）[with 的复合结构].
⑤________________________________(被恐惧包围着）[过去分词作状语]，Jane abandned herself t despair and fell asleep.“Tm,is that yu?”
She murmured.“Tm,help!”In her dream,⑥_____________________________________
(她看见一位男士张开双臂）[现在分词作宾补]twards her at a distance.
It was daybreak when Jane wke up.⑦__________________________(尽管很沮丧）[省略结构]，Jane decided t cntinue frcing her way ahead.Hwever,she fund it hard t find a way ut,⑧____________________________________________(这再次让她绝望）
[定语从句].Frtunately,a helicpter flew verhead just at that mment.
⑨__________________________________________________(Jane太激动了，她立刻冲到岩石边）[倒装结构]and climbed nt it eagerly.
⑩______________________________________（眼里闪耀着希望的光芒）[独立主格结构]，she waved her yellw bluse madly t the helicpter,(11)_________________________________(大声呼救）[现在分词短语作伴随状语].T her great jy,the helicpter sptted her and came t her help.
(12)______________________________________（当团聚的时候）[省略结构]，Jane and her husband hugged each ther tightly in the warmth light f the rising sun.
Step5基本点：做到首尾呼应,结构完整合理
提升点：为了做到首尾呼应，使文章结构更加完整，考生可以在第二段的结尾回扣文章开头Jane与丈夫的争吵和冲突，充分体现本次经历后二人的感受。
优秀范文
But n mre helicpters came and it was getting dark again. Immediately, an abslute darkness ruled the frest. Jane, exhausted and scared, lay dwn near a stne, missing her family at a distance. All the fantastic memry crwded in and she culdn't help crying, "Hadn't I quarreled with Tm, walked away and climbed t the high place, I wuldn't be trapped in this awful place, cnfrnted with the danger f dying." She regretted with endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
It was daybreak when Jane wke up. Weak as she was, she struggled t her feet, cntinuing searching fr assistance. T her great jy, a helicpter was flying verhead again and again. Eager and excited, she flagged her yellw bluse and spared n effrt t yell s as t attract thers'attentin. Frtunately, she was eventually nticed and brught int the helicpter. There, she saw her husband, a man staring at her, wearing an expressin f relief. As tightly as pssible, she hugged him and was t thrilled t say anything. Besides, they agreed never t quarrel again, determining t live the life t the fullest.
【解析】
首先，在逻辑上，要做到了合理合情：起初，主人公身陷森林，内心充满了悔恨，在面对困难时焦虑、畏惧；之后，主人公努力求生，最终获救，并且领悟到了一定的人生道理。纵观整个故事，情节发展不仅符合两段给出的开头所限定的情景要求，而且还设置了一定的悬念，增强了故事的可读性。
文章第一句 "an abslute darkness ruled the frest" 中， "rule" 一词就使用了拟人的修辞手法，让森林阴森黑暗的一面展露无遗，同时描绘出主人公身处绝境的紧迫性。在 "Eager and excited, she flagged her yellw bluse…" 一句中，直接将情绪形容词放在句首，使用了非谓语动词的语法，表达精练。
此外， "There, she saw her husband, a man staring at her, wearing an expressin f relief." 一句中，使用了几个短句，却包含了两处非谓语动词语法，同时活用了 "wear" 一词，把两个人相见时的场景生动地描绘了出来。
【词汇拓展】
1） 表示并列关系的过渡词：and, as well as, r ，Nt nly … but als
2） 表示转折关系的过渡词：but, yet, hwever , althugh , thugh …
3） 表示时间关系的过渡词：first, secnd, third, and then, finally, after, befre, after a few days, at last, at that time, later, in the past, immediately, in the meanwhile, when, while, then, after that …
wh
Jane,Tm
what
Jane was lst
where
In a frest
when
One weekend in July
why
A quarrel with Tm,her husband
文章大意
Jane was lst in the frest fr three days and survived in the end
表达主题
Jane learned hw t cntrl emtins and deal with cnflicts
主要情节
beginning
…started t quarrel…was lst
develpment
…kept mving…had t stp fr the night…
Rse at the break f day…
Began t walk alng the stream and hpe…
climax(高潮）
heard a helicpter
ending
待定
研读续写段落的开头语
Para.1
But n mre helicpters came and it was getting dark again.
(切入点）Jane是如何熬过这个夜晚的？
Hw did Jane feel then?
Hw did Jane struggle thrugh the night?
Did she fall asleep and what did she think f?
Para.2
It was daybreak when Jane wke up?
(切入点）昨晚Jane 没有被救，今天会发生什么？
Was Jane rescued and wh rescued Jane?
Hw was she rescued and hw did she feel then?
续写内容
Para.1
Jane是如何熬过那一夜晚的
Para.2
Jane是如何获救的
刻画细节冲突
添加细节
Jane在当晚和次日的动作，语言，心理描写以及对周围环境的描写。
营造冲突
扩大Jane在夜晚内心的冲突（后悔与丈夫吵架）
渲染Jane当晚与次日与环境之间的冲突（当晚’’恶劣’’环境与内心无助和恐惧的冲突；次日让直升机发现自己的困难与渴望被救的冲突）